A To Z Of Cockney Rhyming Slang
Alright, mate? Let's dive into the vibrant, historic, and sometimes bewildering world of Cockney Rhyming Slang. It's like a secret language, a game of word association that's been played on the streets of London for centuries. So, grab a cuppa and let's have a gander at this linguistic treasure trove, from 'A' to 'Z'.
Apples and Pears
Let's start at the beginning, yeah? 'Apples and Pears' is Cockney for 'stairs'. It's a classic, as old as the East End itself. The rhyme comes from the old saying, "Go up the apples and pears," meaning 'go up the stairs'.
Bacon and Eggs
Now, you might be thinking, "Blimey, what's this got to do with breakfast?" Well, nothing really. In Cockney, 'bacon and eggs' means 'legs'. It's all about the rhyme, innit?
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Dog and Bone
This one's a belter. 'Dog and bone' is Cockney for 'phone'. It's a nod to the old days when phones were attached to the wall by a cord, like a dog on a bone. Fancy that, eh?
Jammy Dodger
No, not the biscuit. In Cockney, a 'jammy dodger' is a lucky person. The term comes from the old gambling phrase, 'jammy', meaning lucky, and 'dodger', a slang term for a criminal. So, it's like saying, "You're a lucky criminal!"
Knees Up, Mother Brown
This one's a bit of Cockney history. 'Knees up, Mother Brown' is a phrase from the music hall song of the same name, which was popular in the late 19th century. In Cockney, it means 'let's have a party'. So, if someone says this, you know it's time to get your dancing shoes on.
Loaf of Bread
No, they're not talking about baking. In Cockney, a 'loaf of bread' is a head. It's a simple one, really. Just remember, 'bread' rhymes with 'head'.
Mince Pies
It's not just a Christmas treat. In Cockney, 'mince pies' means 'lies'. It's a bit of a cheeky one, innit? Like saying, "You're telling me a load of mince pies!"
No Can Do
This one's a bit of a mystery. 'No can do' is Cockney for 'you'. It's thought to have originated from the military, but no one's quite sure. It's a bit like saying, "You can't do, can you?"

One and One
This one's a bit of a teaser. 'One and one' is Cockney for 'sun'. It's a simple one, really. Just remember, 'one' rhymes with 'sun'.
Pork Pies
No, not the pastry. In Cockney, 'pork pies' means 'lies'. It's a bit like 'mince pies', innit? Just remember, 'pies' rhymes with 'lies'.
Quids In
This one's all about the money. 'Quids in' is Cockney for 'money'. It comes from the old saying, "I'm quids in," meaning 'I'm rich'.
Rain in Spain
No, not from the Sound of Music. In Cockney, 'rain in Spain' means 'pain'. It's a bit of a mouthful, innit? But it's all about the rhyme.
Trouble and Strife
This one's a bit of a cheeky one. 'Trouble and strife' is Cockney for 'wife'. It's a bit of a playful phrase, innit? Like saying, "My trouble and strife is making me a cuppa."
Under the Weather
No, not talking about the climate. In Cockney, 'under the weather' means 'drunk'. It's a bit of a old one, but it's still used today. So, if someone says they're 'under the weather', you know they've had a few.
Vicky Pollard
This one's a bit of a modern one. 'Vicky Pollard' is Cockney for 'card'. It comes from the Little Britain character, Vicky Pollard, who was always getting into trouble. So, if someone asks for a 'Vicky Pollard', they want a credit card.

Winkle Picker
This one's a bit of a nautical one. 'Winkle picker' is Cockney for 'fisherman'. It's a bit of a old one, but it's still used today. It's all about the rhyme, innit? 'Winkle' rhymes with 'fisherman'.
Xmas
Yes, even Christmas has a Cockney rhyme. 'Xmas' is Cockney for 'Christmas'. It's a simple one, really. Just remember, 'X' rhymes with 'Christmas'.
Yankee Doodle
No, not the American song. In Cockney, 'Yankee Doodle' means 'fiddler'. It's a bit of a old one, but it's still used today. It's all about the rhyme, innit? 'Doodle' rhymes with 'fiddler'.
Zebra Crossing
This one's a bit of a modern one. 'Zebra crossing' is Cockney for 'jumping'. It's a bit of a cheeky one, innit? Like saying, "I was zebra crossing the road when I saw you."
So there you have it, a whistle-stop tour of Cockney Rhyming Slang. It's a language all of its own, a bit of a puzzle, a bit of a game. It's a part of London's history, a part of its culture. And it's still spoken today, on the streets, in the pubs, in the markets. It's a living, breathing thing, a testament to the city's vibrant, ever-changing nature.
But it's not just about the words, is it? It's about the people who speak them. It's about the community, the shared history, the sense of belonging. It's about the way a simple phrase can bring a smile to someone's face, can make them feel at home, can make them feel like they're part of something bigger.
So, the next time you're in London, give it a go. Try a bit of Cockney. Ask for the 'trouble and strife' to get you a 'pint of milk'. See if you can make someone laugh, make someone feel at home. Because that's what language is all about, innit? It's about connection, it's about community, it's about belonging.
